Stranger Anxiety vs Separation Anxiety

I just re-read this post I wrote 2 years ago when my second child was going through separation anxiety.  It is funny because now I'm going through it with kiddo #3 and for some reason, I don't remember the other two being this bad.  My kids sure do have a set of lungs!

I figured I'd clarify the difference between Stranger Anxiety and Separation Anxiety in this post.  Although, a lot of times they do go hand in hand.

Stranger Anxiety

• this is a normal part of development that usually occurs earlier than Separation Anxiety and may start around 5 months and last to around 18 months (some get it worse than others)
• child can get upset when he or she sees someone other than their primary caregiver and even if their primary caregiver is still nearby (can be relatives or close friends)
• child will cling or hide between legs or cry when stranger approaches to interact
• symptoms seem to peak around 12-15 months

Tips?

• reassurance to the child
• consistency in schedule
• slowly introduce new faces (may need to be around a few times before leaving child alone with new caregiver)
• explain to family members or friends so they do not take it personally
• patience (this will eventually pass)

Separation Anxiety

• again a normal part of development that usually occurs around the same time as stranger anxiety but maybe peaks a little later and resolves by 24 months
• child gets upset when separated from their primary caregiver (this is around the time when they realize that there is only one mom or dad and that if they don't see you, you are not there and since they have no concept of time they don't know when you are coming back)

Tips?

• can practice separation with short amount of time / distance
• separate only after naps and feeds so child is not tired or hungry
• keep surroundings familiar or make new surroundings familiar
• develop "goodbye ritual" but do not linger or stall

==

So how do I get little E to not scream his head off at the nursery every Sunday?  He does fine with different caregivers at home.  Unfortunately, I think E has developed a bad association with the nursery because he starts to cry when we approach it from the hallway.  Therefore, I'll have to spend some Sundays with him there to get him used to the room and remove the negative associations.  In the past, we've attended early service on Sundays which was smack in the middle of his morning nap schedule, so that could have triggered this whole separation thing.  We'll have to consistently go to second service until he drops this morning nap.  Then maybe, slowly as he gets older and as we consistently introduce him to the environment, he will get over this.  My other two did!  Let's see how long it takes this time...

Bumbo Chair Recall

This news is a few days old but thought I'd throw in a blurb...

My husband got an email from Babies R Us that the Bumbo Chair we got as a baby shower gift in 2007 is being recalled.  Apparently, babies are able to get out and are even getting seriously injured falling from high places like table tops and counters.  They actually did a recall in 2007 which resulted in a new warning label to not put the chair on high surfaces.  I admit we've placed our bumbo on the kitchen table to feed our kid.  Thankfully, none of our kids have gotten hurt.  I actually really like the chair and have even given it as gifts to others!

For more on the recall you can read or watch a clip about it here.

So now, they have this new seat restraint that is supposed to keep kids on the chair.  We just ordered it. Will let you know how it goes once we get it but the thought of having to install it is already not attractive to me.  I usually just leave those kind of projects for my husband to figure out... too much time and energy for my tired brains these days.  I guess it would be too chaotic for them to have folks go and exchange our old chairs for a new chair with the restraints already installed.  They say 4 million chairs are being recalled.

This is what the new chair should look like:

Roseola

So I don't remember if my two older girls got this since it is so common, but I'm pretty sure little E got it.  And boy has he been fussy this past week!  Maybe it is in our genes because this boy does not just wimper or cry... he screams!  Poor little guy... had the usual runny nose with mucous all over whenever he sneezes... then developed into a cough with decreased appetite and irritability.. then fever (usually high even above 103 but we didn't actually measure his)... just as the fever resolved he developed the typical red bumpy rash all over.  It is usually at this point that the diagnosis becomes apparent since all the previous symptoms could be any number of viruses.  I do know he didn't have an ear infection since I checked it... but usually with fevers, you have to make sure there is no definite bacterial cause (ears, urine, throat, etc).

Here's the quick 101 on Roseola...

What is it?
It is a common childhood illness cause by a virus.  It is sometimes also called Sixth Disease.

Who gets it?
Usually children between the ages of 3 months and 4 years, though  most common between 6 months and 1 year.  In fact, it is the most common cause of fever in this age group.

What are the symptoms?

• eye redness
• irritability
• runny nose
• sore throat
• swollen glands
• diarrhea (even vomiting but both of these are rare)
• high fever (usually above 103)
• after fever resolves about 2-3 days in, rash appears (rose-colored, small bumps, slightly raised)
• rash does not itch and can last few hrs to days to weeks

How do you treat it?

There is no specific treatment and the disease usually gets better on its own.  Supportive measure for comfort can be taken.  For example:

• tylenol or motrin for fever
• encourage fluids and rest
• lots of love (see prev post here about sick babies and toddlers)

Is it contagiuos?

Yes!  It is probably contagious about 2 days before the fever starts to 1 to 2 days after the fever resolves.  It can be passed through bodily fluids (like saliva, runny nose, cough) and it can be 7 to 10 days after exposure before you get symptoms.

How do we prevent this?

Wash hands!  But this is so tough in a the 6 month to 1 year age group since they are putting everything in sight into their mouth like all the time.  So it is no wonder this is so common in this age group!

When do I go to my doctor?

It never hurts to call and get medical counsel on whether or not your child needs to be seen.  But if your child has any of the following, make sure you seek medical attention immediately:

• decrease urinary output (less than 3 diapers/day)
• listless and lethargic
• fever that does not resolve with tylenol or motrin
• having seizures (can sometimes get febrile seizures as a complication)

Beach!

I love the beach!  I love the soft sand, the crashing waves, and the soft serve ice cream cones that taste different when you eat them at the beach.  One of my favorite things to do in the summer time is to go to the beach.  Around here, the closest beach is the Jersey shore.  It is not exactly like the crystal clear waters and bright clean sands that you may find in Kauai (my favorite being Hanakapi`ai beach which you have to hike to on the Hanakapi trail...  and which so far is the most scenic trail I've ever hiked)  However, Jersey Shore has a culture of its own with greasy fried boardwalk food, games, rides... so for lots of folks around here, Jersey Shore is a tradition.  My favorite Jersey shore beach at the moment is Ocean Grove.  It is the shortest drive for us and is quiet and never too crowded during the times we've been there.  Further more, I think it has the best quality sand and water compared to the other Jersey Shore beaches we've been to.

Now, going to the beach with little kids is a whole different ball game.  This past weekend, my two older girls made friends with these other two girls exactly their same age but they had an older brother instead of a younger brother.  I got talking to their mom and she told me that this is the first year where she finds herself really "relaxing" while at the beach.  Her youngest is two and a half and her oldest is six.  So all her kids are capable of playing on their own with some supervision.  Previous years, she still had to deal with sand eating.  Well, that's about the stage we are at with our youngest who just turned one.  However, different from his sisters, E actually fell asleep while I was bjorning him and I was able to transfer him to our beach tent where he stayed asleep for greater than an hour!  He did this two days in a row.  The crashing waves must remind him of his sound machine that we use in his room when he naps and sleeps at night.

So couple of tips I found helpful when going to the beach with little ones:

• using the spray type of sunblock is much faster to apply on the kids and less greasy especially when it is time to reapply and there is sand everywhere!

• having some sort of beach tent is huge when there is a baby involved because if they can fall asleep under some shade then you've just bought yourself some "relaxing time"  (i suppose a towel and an umbrella would work too but if baby wakes up and you want them out of the sand a little longer they may play in the tent if u have enough entertainment for them)... if possible get the kind that just pops open without all the poles.  I miss our old tent that does that.

• we didn't try this yet but a friend of ours would bring an inflatable kiddie pool... fill it up real good once and may save lots of back and forth trips with little buckets for the kiddos' sand creations... plus they can splash in it or just play in it and be entertained for hours again buying more "relaxing time" for mom and dad

• water shoes helpful if lots of shells on the beach or if sand is super hot

• keep reapplying the sunblock!

• beach toys... gotta have lots so they stay entertained and best if more than one of each type is brought to decrease the chance of fighting

• so how to lug all this stuff to the sand?  we've used a wagon... or their stroller... may be hard to drag on the sand but I think it's still easier than carrying it all by hand

• finally, decrease expectations, relax, and have fun!

Anything else you all can think of?

Childhood Obesity and Diabetes On The Rise

This morning I read an interesting article by Dr Mark Hyman.  It is not a new concept but he sure does have a strong stance and is calling the government to action.  Click here to read and even listen to his interview on CBS.

Last year, I remember my au pair (who is from China and taught at a Montessouri Kindergarten there) was appalled and amazed at how much candy my daughter (three years old then turning four) brought home from preschool.  It was not just at Halloween but also Thanksgiving, Christmas, Valentines Day, Easter... you name it!  Every month there was an "excuse" to party and bring home a ton of candy.  I confiscated most of it but after a few times I saw empty wrappers in her bag.  She probably caught on and started eating them before I got to them!  So I then had to tell the preschool teacher to please not let her eat candy until I can ration them to her at home.

Now the other day, coming home from the beach we swung by Burger King for drive-through lunch.  It was fast and convenient and cheap.  We normally do not eat fast food... so when I got my hands on my whopper, it was like this huge treat!  I also ate up the fries that came with it and I have to tell you... for a few hours afterwards I really felt very sick.  I'm not sure if everyone experiences this but I really felt lethargic and just "blah".  Dr Hyman mentioned in his article that you have to run 4 miles every day for a week to work off one fast food meal.  Hahahaha... I actually made myself swim like 20 laps that day because I was feeling so 'yuck'.  But you know the funny thing is.. here I am a few days out and I'm thinking about that whopper and fries and actually craving it!  It is so addictive!

Anyways, we get bombarded with the message "eat healthy" but I really do believe it makes a huge difference not only in our overall longterm health but also day to day emotional well-being... to both kids and adults!  Now childhood diabetes and obesity is on the rise in our country... a topic for another entry...

Rest

Life has been busy here for me... between an overbooked schedule while at work and house maintenance issues at my home on top of the usual busy-ness that comes with three kids ages four and under... it has been hard to find time to just "rest".  Usually, night time after the kids are down (which is usually around 9pm) is when I find that "me time" and I would do my online thing... including jotting down some random things from my days/weeks onto this blog.  Lately, I admit my mind has been shutting off and my body crashing.  Need rest! When I don't get my sleep, I am super cranky and my patience and tolerance is worse than usual.  I really need to throw exercise back into my schedule because that is my usual outlet for stress and it gives me a natural endorphin kick.

Jesus says in Matthew 11:28, "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest."

I know this verse well but I admit I don't always know how to exactly achieve it.  For me, it has to be very intentional to sit at Jesus' feet as Mary does.  I am very much a Martha.  Every time, I find myself trying to go to Jesus to rest, I fall asleep!  Hahaha.  So, even my "quiet times" become an item on my "to do" list.

Well, I love music and worship.  So one way I've been able to find my "rest" in Jesus is to pump up the music and sing on the top of my lungs while I'm driving to work or other random errands.  It's tricky to find a time when the kids are not napping but I love just jamming' on my piano with different worship songs as well.

So I'm curious what you moms do out there to get your "rest"?

Cavities

Long time no blog!  We've been busy... but the craziest thing is we had to go to the operating room a couple of weeks ago with my oldest to get her cavities fixed.  I was a nervous wreck because my "baby" was going to go under general anesthesia and having seen it on the other side, I know too well what "could" go wrong.  Thankfully... other than a really horrible "waking up" all went well.

So honestly, the first question that came to my mind when I was told that my four year old has a bunch of cavities was whether it is worth fixing since she will lose them anyway.  The dentist looked at me as if I was crazy, but hey... I was just thinking out loud.  Plus, has anyone really done a randomized control trial to see if the treatment actually does decrease morbidity/mortality/quality of life and if all the trauma leading up to the treatment worth it?  Okay okay... so since no one will probably perform that study, I suppose it is better to be on the safe side.

I truly was surprised at the number of cavities because we had been brushing her teeth twice a day and she does not really eat that many sweets.  Plus, she had been seeing a dentist and getting regular cleanings since she was one year old.   So after doing a little research I realize that the reason lies in a combination of factors and circumstances.

• First of all... cavities is contagious and I likely passed the bug to her.  I had a root canal this past fall so I definitely had the cavity forming bacteria and it is easy to pass through occasionally sharing utensils or even kissing.  I read that 80% of all cavities are found in only 25% kids!  Here are a couple of articles I found interesting:
• from American Dental Association

• from everyday health.com

• So once you have the bacteria (like Streptococcus mutans), it feeds on the foods you eat.  So common preschool favorites like apple juice, fruit snacks, goldfish all are things the bacteria will feed on and produce acid as a result.  The acid eats away at the tooth.
• Finally... fluoride and good dental hygiene with brushing and flossing is key.  Though we brushed my daughter's teeth twice day we were not so good with flossing.  Therefore, all her cavities were in between her molars.. the hard to reach places with the toothbrush.

So now what?

• We're trying to be better with dental health and hygiene with everyone in the family... especially caregivers
• Trying to be better at avoiding sharing drinks or utensils
• Offering more water and less juice to the kids
• Brushing three times a day now after every meal instead of just twice a day
• Flossing!
• And of course...  regular dental check-ups!  I actually need to get my other two kids to the dentist... I'm just having a hard time finding a good pediatric dentist I like in this area...

Bottom line is if the adults or caregivers have cavities themselves, your kids will be more high risk of getting cavities and may have to be more vigilant in prevention than those lucky folks who are not colonized!