Wednesday, April 14, 2010

My two full-time jobs

As I'm sitting here trying to update my personal CV, there is a part of me that wonders if I should be doing more from a career point of view. I think I am so used to so much schooling and thinking about the next step that it is strange to not really have a "next step" to go to. Life had been about getting further education... elementary school, middle school, high school, college, med school, residency! Now that I am working in private practice, I sometimes wonder if there is a "next step"? Perhaps for me the next step right now is motherhood...

Becoming a mom has been a tremendously wonderful experience overall. Sure there are moments of craziness and frustration... but they pale in comparison to the indescribable love that overwhelms me at times when I look at my two girls. Everyone tells me that time flies so fast and I can see it already slipping by. I want to remember and treasure every moment!

Now, I love my current job. I love my staff, I love the relationships I'm building with my patients, and I love the intellectual stimulation that different cases bring. I also love the fact that there is some sense of order, predictability, and control when I'm at work. In fact, I get such a sense of satisfaction when I can clear a large pile of papers on my desk or I sign off and close charts at the end of the day. There is a sense of "mission accomplished" that I feel. Haha... it is everything that being a mom of a 2 year old and 4 month old is not. Therefore, I'm extremely grateful for the opportunity to be a part of two somewhat contrasting worlds. Right now, I'm only working 5 half days a week and for me, it is just right. If I worked any more hours, I would feel that I'm missing out on my kids. I believe if I worked any less hours, I'd be pulling my hair out. Life right now is about finding that delicate balance between mothering and doctoring...

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